CoSex and Love Addicts Anonymous
A twelve-step fellowship for people affected by another person's sex or love addiction.
We cannot point you at a COSLAA website. The address long listed for the fellowship no longer resolves, and we could not establish a current one, so there is deliberately no link here rather than a link somewhere that is no longer theirs. Local and online meetings are still the way in. If you know where COSLAA is now, write to us and this page gets corrected.
What the fellowship is
Co-Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous is for people affected by somebody else's sexual or romantic compulsions. It is the family-side fellowship to SLAA, and works on the betrayal, the hypervigilance and the loss of one's own footing.
What members describe
Not a checklist and not a diagnosis — just what people in COSLAA commonly say brought them in.
- The shock and grief of finding out, and having nowhere to put it
- Checking a phone, a history, a location to establish what is true
- Taking the addiction personally, as evidence of your own inadequacy
- Physical and emotional health worn down by constant watchfulness
- Not knowing where your own boundaries are any more
Your first meeting
COSLAA meetings exist because betrayal trauma is its own injury and does not get better by being minimised. Members work on self-worth and on making decisions about their own future rather than about somebody else's behaviour.
Where 12Gradus fits
12Gradus is software for the sponsor, not a substitute for one and not part of any fellowship. Nothing here is affiliated with or endorsed by CoSex and Love Addicts Anonymous.
A sponsee's profile records that they are in CoSex and Love Addicts Anonymous and dates their clean time from their recovery start. Daily check-ins, a self-reported urge score, high-risk days noted beside the chart, a rough-moment button that reaches the sponsor immediately, secure chat and a text bridge all work the same in every programme.
The step work is the part that does not. The built-in library is written for Gamblers Anonymous. A sponsor in COSLAA assigns their own materials instead — which works, and is what sponsors have always done, but it is not the same as having COSLAA's own step work in the app.